Just when I was about to unfriend them all and start drinking, I was invited to a private group of about 2,500 called "confederate pride, heritage not hate." While some of the Confederate Facebookers were plum happy to have me on board-check out this weirdly adorable picture of a bowing horse someone sent me!-others, like the guy who told me to "run off and join ISIS," were not.
I was beginning to feel stupefied and distressed, and my friends were complaining that all their recommended friends now had Confederate flag avatars as well. But then you can find people freaking out at the possibility that Obama might arrest them for posting racist stuff on Facebook, or getting mad that people are calling them racist. Predictably, many Confederate Facebook posts consist of proud displays of the Confederate flag-on tattoos, in wedding photos, flanked by flaming blue skulls, airbrushed onto truck windows, whatever.
Just keep clicking "Add Friend" over and over, and before you know it your Timeline is full of racist Minions memes and pictures of Looney Toons who are somehow mad at Al Sharpton. Facebook's friend recommendations will quickly turn into an endless, mesmerizing stream of folks with names like Prepper Jeff and Amanda Rebel. Everyone in Confederate Facebook seems to accept friend requests from strangers, which I guess can be chalked up to Southern hospitality.